Complicated world, uncomplicated life
It came at the very end of last week’s on-air conversation with James Golden, aka Bo Snerdley. He explained that as he watched things happening in the world, things that make him angry, he was “trying to learn to let go.” And then he posed a piercing and most relevant question.
“Do you get the sense that no matter how bad things are, that there is a place that we can go to, to calm ourselves and make it all right?”
Immediately, I knew the answer. For me, such peace was found in the daily practice of something called Benevolent Detachment. It was a powerful tool that combated anxiety and strain. With mindful practice, I released my worries and burdens to God, giving up the need to control or manage people and outcomes. It was a simple utterance that went like this, “I give everything and everyone to you, God. Everything and everyone to you.”
At times, I got specific, naming names and situations. “Everything and everyone.” Knowing that I was not big enough to carry the weight of the world or the sorrow of the world, I found consolation in turning it over to someone greater than I.
James’ question was a reminder of how complicated things have become in this country. Every day, we have ringside seats to fierce debates, civil unrest, and sharp divisions in “these United States.” Relational fractures occur over political ideology. Foundational differences in core beliefs create schisms. In real time, we are witnessing the fruit—assassination attempts and calls for the murders of those who disagree.
Yes, these are fragile and perilous days.
Years ago, I was preparing my little boy for bed. He was standing at the bathroom sink in his jammies, allowing Mother to brush his teeth. As I addressed the cleanliness of his molars with a colorful whale toothbrush, it struck me. This unplanned, unexpected child was such a gift! And so I said it, “You are a joy and a delight and a treat. You are such a blessing to other people.”
Through a mouthful of bubbles came this, “Uh-huh.” As though he had heard it a hundred times, for he had.
Like a warm blanket, the comforting truth descended over my shoulders. If I as a human parent saw my child this way, it was nothing but a dim reflection of how the Creator looked at us. “A joy, a delight, and a treat. A blessing to other people.”
In his response, I saw something else. There was no question in his young mind that he was loved, for love was the air that he breathed. He awoke in love, he lived in love, and he fell asleep in that same unconditional love. He was happy and secure, free to be who and what he was. He was, quite literally, carefree, free of cares because of Love.
As a child, he chose to put his faith in the one who made him, and that faith was real to him. Nightly, his father would pray with him as he put him to bed, lingering to talk about the day. At times, I would join him on his pillow, listening to stories in the dark or talking about whatever was on his mind. Over time, the bedtime stories ceased, but the questions didn’t. They got bigger and deeper as he grew, and we did our best to answer them.
Now, that young man is a teenager. To this day, he lives a relatively carefree life. He struggles far less than most youth his age and less than many adults. Life is not very complicated for him because of the framework by which he lives. He loves God, and he loves other people.
In his first semester at college, I began to hear different names. He was making friends, and he would talk about them at home. One classmate in particular had captured his heart. In his frequent mentions of the boy, I heard the love he felt for a soul who was different from him. “School is kinda hard for him. He works all the time,” he would tell me. And then this, “You would love him, Mom.”
In a complicated world, there is an uncomplicated way to live. It does not come by focusing on ourselves first. It certainly does not come by carrying the sorrows and concerns of the world on our shoulders. It comes by the way of receiving, reflecting, and releasing.
We start by receiving. We receive the divine Love that has always been with us. It is our native air, our inherent birthright. It is the truest thing about us. We receive such Love first.
We continue on this path by reflecting. We reflect the Love that we’ve received back to its source and to other people. Put simply, we mirror it. We love God back, and we love other people.
We practice the uncomplicated life by releasing. Using the tool of Benevolent Detachment, we release everything and everyone to the Creator who is the only one strong enough to carry it all. Then we keep walking in peace.
Receiving, reflecting, and releasing will uncomplicate a complicated life. This is how we can become people of strength, clarity, and wisdom, the gift to others that this world desperately needs.