“Where is your God?”

This essay was first published on The Daily BS on August 29, 2025.

In Minneapolis this week, death stormed a church. As children and teachers celebrated Mass together, a gunman opened fire, killing two innocents and injuring others before turning the gun on himself.

In the press conference that followed, the mayor of the city said this to stunned residents, “Don’t say this is about thoughts and prayers right now. Those kids were literally praying. It was the first week of school. They were in a church.”

Jen Psaki, former press secretary, said, “Prayer is not freaking enough. Prayer does not end school shootings, prayers do not make parents feel safe sending their kids to school. Prayer does not bring these kids back. Enough with the thoughts and prayers.”

JD Vance replied, “We pray because our hearts are broken. We pray because we know God listens. We pray because we know that God works in mysterious ways and can inspire us to further action.” He also offered this. “Literally no one thinks prayer is a substitute for action.”

In reports later that day, it was announced that on a rifle magazine, the shooter had written these words, “Where is your God?”

Where, indeed? From the mouth of a murderer, the words were a taunt, a brazen middle finger and an upraised fist to the Almighty and those who love him. For others, however, the question was a cry from the depths of their suffering souls. Where is God, and why isn’t he stopping this evil?

These questions are above my pay grade. I am no seminarian or theologian with a Ph.D. I am just one ordinary woman who has walked with God for many years. Life has given me countless reasons to question where God is and what he’s doing. Thus, after thinking on it for a long time, this is how I’ve come to peace with those difficult questions.

There are two opposing forces in this world. There is good, and there is evil. In his sovereignty, God has established us with free will. He allows us to choose whether we will follow good or evil. If (and here’s the crux of it for me) he took away our ability to choose evil, we could not actually choose good, for we would be only robots with no real choice at all.

From Scripture and through my lifelong experience, living daily in the presence of God, I know and believe that God is a relational being. He longs to be chosen. He longs to be loved. Holy writ declares that we were made in his image, so my desires for connection and relationship are simply reflections of his.

So are yours. You, too, long to be loved. You, too, want to be chosen. You, like I, crave true connection with others who love us. And deep down, the heart knows this truth as well, that you can’t force love. Demand it, and you won’t receive it. It will be a forced compliance, given either grudgingly or angrily. It’s unsatisfactory, for love must be given. Love, you see, extends an invitation.

What a risk, then, for the Almighty to let us choose. Make love a choice, and some will reject you. It leaves you wide open to pain, but it’s the only way to receive, and give, and know the real thing.

But back, now, to the murderer’s words, “Where is your God?”

First, we must remember it was not God who chose to pull a trigger on a Wednesday morning in August, slaying the innocent. A man with a depraved and wicked heart did that. Because a human chose evil, many people’s lives have been altered forever by that one, awful choice. It was a man. It was not God.

“Where is your God?” Like many of you, I, too, have suffered at the hands of evil-hearted humans, so please hear me now. God has always been with me. He never caused my pain and misery. In the face of evil, he showed himself to be good, present, faithful, and kind.

In every extremity, my lifeline to God has been prayer. From the smallest details to the largest dilemmas, my lifeline to God is still prayer.

“What is impossible with man is possible with God.” That’s what Jesus said. Over and over, he has proven it. In financial hardships. In physical difficulties. In the face of doors that slammed shut. In times of utter confusion and chaos. In every hour of need, it was prayer that moved the hand of God, and the provision always came.

It was prayer that saved our son’s life, bringing him back from the hell of addiction. Prayer gave us strength to get through it. By the power of prayer, we found the grace to change and grow, becoming stronger and better in every way. Yes, God has always been with us.

Surely, the thought of losing a child is more than I can bear. Yet, should the worst happen, I would not grieve without hope, nor would I curse God. Because we have placed our faith in Christ, I know that we will all be united again one day. Death, for us, is not the worst thing there is. Unspeakably hard, but not the worst, for we know that God, even then, would be with us all.

To the naysayers who decry the practice of prayer in our nation’s hour of need, I say to you, “We don’t need less prayer! We need far more.” The latest tragedy only proves it.

Through individual and collective prayers, we have access to the wisdom that instructs us about what actions we ought to take. Prayer and actions together can make a difference.

More importantly, sincere prayer will bring a change of heart, helping us to choose the good, eschewing all evil. In this way, God’s will shall truly be “done on earth as it is in heaven.” Only then can a nation prosper and find its way back to peace.