For women–our sin is no better than their lust

If you have been following me here for any length of time on the blog, you’ll know that I’ve begun to speak quite frankly. To teach plainly and boldly on topics that are tough to hear about; tough to wrestle with; and tough, quite frankly, to talk about. Especially in a public sphere.

I’ve told you before how the Lord took my husband on a healing journey. How He delivered him completely from lust and pornography. How He began His work in me. While I won’t recap that all here, I’ll leave a list with links at the end of this post.

Anyway, it was during this journey that the Lord began to open my eyes to vast pockets of fear, shame and contempt, both for my own physical being and for the physical frames of others. Oh, that hurt.

For one thing, I saw that He was grieved at my contempt for His own creation. He showed me that I was measuring myself and others as the world did, and that it was a measuring stick that needed to be broken.“From now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view (2 Cor. 5:16).” That’s what He said, and I took that to heart.

He taught me that when I complained about how I was made, it hurt my husband. Greatly. And it hurt Him.

He gently, gently showed me that there was no shame–none at all–in what His hands had made. That He could not possibly create something that would only be an instrument of lust or of sin. That my origins, blessedly, were with His fingers and not first with human participants.

He showed me that my body wasn’t a sexual object. Neither were others, and so no woman could truly be a threat. Only perceived. Smoke and mirrors.

He taught me that viewing other women as threats and hating those who I judged to be perfect or better was hurting my relationships there. That it was sin.

Then this, that self-hatred was no different, better, or more justified than other-hatred. That my body was His beloved dwelling place, that it had brought forth life, that it was the most visible testament to His existence…and thus, the great enemy hatred for mine and all other bodies!

Revelation.

But back to this morning, that run and His voice.

“Your fear, shame and contempt are no better, no different than the sin of men, which is lust.”

Elbows pumping, legs moving, knees lifting. Ears listening.

“Those three have opened the door, have given satan an entry point into your heart. And he’s wreaked havoc.”

I knew He was right. I knew it was true. And I knew right away what to do.

I repented.

I agreed with the Holy Spirit. I confessed my sins, and I asked Him right there to forgive me. And then this: “Jesus, I want you to close and lock those doors. I ask You to cleanse me and to fill my heart, now, with peace and joy and light and truth and freedom.”

Now that the enemy has been turned out and the door has been locked, it’s my turn to teach you what He taught me.

Dear girl. You who have children, can you imagine how it would pierce your core if your flesh and blood came to you and said, “I just hate how I look. I can’t stand how I’m made. I can’t believe you can love me like this. Like I am.” And absolutely refused to be happy or accepting.

Don’t you just quail at that thought?

Papa, too.

We have no cause, no excuse to hate ourselves. We cannot give (I’m learning this) what we do not have. That includes grace, mercy, forgiveness…and love. 

As long as we do not settle in to Papa’s love for us; as long as we refuse to receive the gift that He gave (our own, uniquely-designed bodies), we cannot rightly love others. It’s not possible.

As long as we are fearing other women; comparing ourselves to other women; envying or feeling superior to other women, we cannot love them. And that’s sin.

“There is no fear,” John said, “in love. Perfect love drives out fear, for fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 Jn. 4:18).”

I think we could add, “There is no fear or shame or hatred in love. Perfect love drives out fear and shame and hate. The one who fears or carries shame or hates is not made perfect in love.”

If this is you, dear one, I’d like to put my arm around you and tell you to do what the Lord led me to do: just repent. Send the devil out of those rooms of your heart and let Jesus close and lock the door.

The more truth and light and healing and freedom–actually, the more of Jesus I receive, the more truth and light and healing and freedom and, yes, the more of Jesus I have to give. If I am relaxed and at ease in my own skin and I carry about the Living Christ within that skin, the more it will free others up to relax, to breathe, to know that Love when they are around me.

Don’t you want that, too?

List of links to previous posts that I’ve written on these topics