How to make your husband happy
I’m popping in today just to talk to you for a minute about something that’s important in your marriage. Some months ago as I was walking through a difficult season, my stalwart husband looked at me and said five little words. “Let me make you happy.”
His words that night resonated deep within my heart. It touched a hurting girl, such pursuing love, and they nestled way down in my being.
Somehow, this subject came up over the weekend. Now, having traveled further along the path to healing, further into the heart and love of my Papa, I often find myself thinking, “I am just plain happy.” And I try to say it out loud to Mr. Muscles (or, as you may have come to know him, Mr. Schrock).
It was a little, offhand comment made in a conversation the other day that brought it back. Driving along, light turning green, he said it. “I think what most men really want is to make their women happy.”
If you’re a writer, you’ll know how this works. Like a small, juicy berry that pops sweet inside your mouth, that little truth-bite just–popped. For days, now, I’ve savored the flavor on my tongue, thinking on its meaning, knowing that it needed to be taught. And so today I asked him to explain it.
Very simply, he said that when a man cannot make his wife happy, he feels like a failure. A man’s wife is the one person in all the world that he desires to please and to care for above all else. When he finds that he cannot make her happy, a man will finally “dissociate (his word)” himself from her. In other words, it creates a distance.
Men want to fix things. That’s what he said. And when they can’t, it’s hard on them. Knowing this will help us understand our guys.
Now, this is not a post wherein I explain the meaning, origin, cause, effect, or residual anything of original sin. That’s way, way above my pay grade. Girls, I know that we’ve married sinners. But so did our men. And as I’ve said before, “Two sinners get married and make more.” Which is pretty much, in my country vernacular, how it goes.
I recall times in our marriage where I was discontent with what we had; with what my hardworking husband had provided. I turned to self-pity, a particularly ugly garment, and rough. I complained about how hard I had to work in the early years of his fledgling business. Surely, it hurt him.
Comparison, I’ve found, is another deadly trap, for we are generally comparing our men to our perception of someone else. And perception, as you know, is seldom reality.
The bottom line here is that if we don’t find our security, our happiness, our joy, our strength in Christ alone, then even the best, most loving, richest, and most devoted husband in the world will not be able to satisfy us. And girls, that part’s on us.
Fall in love with Christ. Revel in the wonderful parenting of Papa. Walk in step with the Holy Spirit, and you’ll be a very, very happy woman, no matter what you have or you don’t. You’ll be free to be content, to be grateful. And you’ll be life and strength to that man that you love.
If I can, you can. Because of Him, we both can.
Warmly,
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